Here we go again. Another blog by a handicapped blogger, and that's for certain! I never thought I would ever have a blog let alone one about me dealing with cancer. I had a blog on our mission and I thought that I would be done after that! Now I realize that we are on a different and challenging mission.
As we had time on our Dominican mission, I believe the Lord gave me time to prepare for a different challenge. Probably three months ago I was inundated with the feeling that something
was going to happen that would change our lives and that I needed to get my house organized, DI a lot of things I didn't need -I still couldn't get my girls to go down the basement with me! They remember the snakes, mink, dog, etc that have been in the basement of our 100+ year old house.
Pitiful excuses!! But we were able to get many things done. Even the basement with the help of a wonderful friend.
Then on March 20 while Melia and Alysha were here I told them how I had been feeling. I had been so worried that something was going to happen to Scott or one of our kids that every time the phone rang I expected bad news. That night I had these strange pains in my breast that woke me up. Anyone that knows me knows I would almost rather die than go to a doctor with that kind of a problem! I had done self breast exams feeling for lumps and there weren't any. But when I got up in the morning the feeling that I had to get help immediately was so strong that I actually called for an appointment. At that time I realized that the whole left breast was hard and a bit misshapen.
From then on it was just one test after another. Interestingly enough, none of the x-rays, mammograms or ultrasounds showed there was anything wrong. The radiologist came in, called Dr. Garvy, a surgeon, who just happened to have some time right then. She took one look and said "I can tell you what this is but you aren't going to want to hear it. I think it is inflammatory breast cancer." There was a biopsy lab right in their area so she did that also. What a TENDER MERCY that was! Not having to wait forever to find out what was going on.
A flash of insight brought the realization that my illness was the reason for the months of anxiety - I was so relieved it was me and not any of them! But then there was the daunting task of telling my precious family what was wrong. I have been blessed beyond belief to live here on the ranch with most of our children and grandchildren. There's not a day that goes by that I don't hear "Grandma are you here? We're just coming to visit!" Then the other kids came to see where their friends were and before you knew it your house was filled with little children.What a choice blessing! Having the house filled with children feels so familiar and good. Knowing that would be changing was so sad for me.
Scott and my sister Dede went with me to see Dr. Garvy when the biopsy came back. Of course we got the worst of the news from her. "Plan on a year of your life in treatment for this inflammatory
stage four breast cancer". Chemo, surgery,radiation,hormone therapy. Sounded pretty daunting to us all ! One of my cousins died of this kind of very aggressive breast cancer even though it is supposed to be rare. She said the survival rate for this cancer has gone from 50% to almost 60% following treatment. But I know I am going to be ok! Avoiding germs however is a pain...
So Dr. Garvy set up the surgery for the port, appointments with Dr. Hansen the oncologist, Dr. Hansen the radiology oncologist .So of course his nurses had never seen this type of presentation so he asked if they could all come in and check it out. Was that ever fun. Should have been a stripper...Dr V Hansen sent me for a pet test to see if the cancer had spread. That wait for the results to come back seemed like forever for all of us. Came back that it had not spread to any organs, just the lymph nodes surrounding the cancer. What a believer in fasting and prayer I am, especially after that.
You know one of the side effects of chemo is something they call chemo brain - or loss of short term memory. I can tell you that my family has never known anything different with me! But mine is total memory loss. I spent ten minutes looking for a sock that I finally found - on my foot..
For Christmas one year the kids gave me a wonderful picture of Christ with the scripture " My peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid." What a comfort that picture and scripture has been to me! I am so grateful to know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us. That we can know we are never alone in any trial that happens to come into our lives.What is amazing to me is that I feel the comfort of the prayers that are being
said for us. How wonderful it is to have friends and family that will share their faith in prayer with us.
-Kathy
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