2/1/2016

For those of you who are familiar with puppy treat - I keep some puppy treats in my pocket for puppy bribes. You know they look much like Ibuprofen Ibuprofen has been my main go to med for the past ten months. I have found them in many places they shouldn't be and realize they must have fallen out of my pocket or something! A few nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I see this red pill on the carpet by the bed. So of course I figure that I had dropped it instead of swallowing it with the others. You can probably see where this is going. Picked it up and grabbed my water bottle, when the smell of puppy treats took over. Sure enough, on close inspection the not quite so rounded edges of puppy treats became evident. This may be the only time in my life that the roots of my hair are darker than the rest! It's so nice to have hair. From the chair at the side of my bed I looked across the room to the mirror on the wall. The mirror that at first showed my normal hair; then the shocking no hair look; then the wig with lots of hair look; then the stubby white sheep look; and now the different colors of gray look. At least I recognize myself in the mirror and don't get frightened that someone else is in the room with me! WOW - it is feels great to alive! I'm so grateful to feel that again. I know without the prayers of others things would probably be much different. The best thing in life to hold on to is each other!

1/12/2016

In 2015 I would get mixed up and put 2016 on many things; then I just figured it was because I wanted 2015 to be over! Now that it is 2016 I am amazed how blessed I have been over these last ten months. Pondering what I have learned: 1. Foremost that others prayers can actually change the course of your life 2. The power and comfort of priesthood blessings. 3. That at the most desperate times in our lives we have a Father in Heaven who supports us so we can carry on. 4. It is essential to let our faith be stronger than our fear and sometimes that is really tough. 5. God's timing is not the same as ours but He does have a plan for us. 6. The compassion, love, concern and support of friends and family has buoyed us up with cards, calls, meals, thoughts and prayers, and much more. 7. That having body parts removed does not change your soul. 8. If you think your mind is bad now, have chemo and you really know what absentmindedness is. 10. That a radical moderate mastectomy is much more painful than a normal mastectomy. 11. No more mammograms! 12. Amazement at what so many people have to endure in their lives but find the strength and courage to go on and to encourage others. Pretty tired of reading my thoughts aren't you... Just know of love and gratefulness for you all !

1/2/2016

A New Year for us all will bring many more experience to learn and grow from. To look forward with hope is certainly difficult at times but we have each other. What a blessing!! The each other part that is..... Wednesday is the day Dr. Fisher says I will wake up and say "Wow I feel good". Can hardly wait since the radiation burn is worse than it was during treatment! Well here I am the woman who has always said she would never have a dog in her house with an adorable little puppy who isn't even potty trained. Good diet aid for me because the smell of the puppy and dog food and other smells, makes food sound disgusting. That's probably why I have never had a dog in the house! You must get used to it.... For some reason the loneliness that has come with cancer feels much better with the puppy. I see now why they have therapy dogs in the hospitals.